Friday, December 03, 2004

A Loser Picking the Winners, Week 13

OK, things are really starting to get weird. Bobblehead dolls are one thing, but now there's a Ben Roethlisberger action figure. By the looks of it, I'm guessing the doll (it's an action figure!) will be the next to come forward and admit it too was involved in the whole BALCO fiasco. It kind of reminds you of the meathead in high school who use to spend all day working on his upper body but looked like Eric Forman from the waist down. Oddly, they're not selling this thing in Pittsburgh -- you can only get it online or over the phone.

There's also video of an interview (at the bottom of the page) that Roethlsiberger did with local newscaster Sally Wiggin. More bad news: when asked who Big Ben would like to meet, out of all the people in the world, the first person he named was Derek Jeter. This is easily much worse than Rashad McCants answering "Jay-Z" to the same question. Derek Jeter? What about Martian Manny Ramirez or Kevin Millar (seriously though, I guess Jeter makes sense if Ben wants advice on how to deal with becoming famous very quickly as a young professional athlete)? I guess the good news is he didn't name A-Rod.

And as long as I'm talking about really goofy Ben Roethlisberger merchandise, and if you're looking for the perfect holiday gift, get a load of this:
Midway through his rookie NFL season, and Ben Roethlisberger already has his own ring.

You can get his ring, too: The league's wireless-content package includes the voice of the Steelers' starting quarterback announcing an incoming call: Pick up your phone. It's game time.
That's right. You too can hear Roethlisberger's voice everytime your phone rings. I'm not biting though; I'm holding out for the A-Rod ring -- I hear the beta-version sounds something like this: Hi Derek, this is A-Rod. I don't know what I did to be treated like this. I only want us to be happy, but I can't be happy if you quit taking my calls. We can be the best SS/3B combo...ever, but I need your help. Thinking of you, A-Rod. OK, maybe that's a little long-winded, but I think it's an important message. And it makes a great stocking stuffer, so keep an eye out for that.

Oh yeah, I wanted to mention something Smokey brought up yesterday in the comments concerning former Pirate and current Mets pitcher Kris Benson. His wife has been named "Baseball's Hottest Wife" by FHM magazine. And while it's not surprising that some guy who looks like a fungo bat -- but is worth a couple of bills -- would be married to a women with super model looks, what is interesting is that Anna Benson was on Howard Stern earlier this week and made the following statement:
"I told him [Kris] — because that's the biggest thing in athletics, they cheat all the time — I told him, cheat on me all you want. If you get caught, I'm going to s- - -w everybody on your entire team — coaches, trainers, players. I would do everybody on his whole team."

"Even the coaches? What about, like, the bat boys?"
Stern said.

"Everybody would get a turn," Anna pledged. "If my husband cheated on me and embarrassed me like that, I will embarrass him more than he could ever imagine."

Even Robin Quivers got in on it: "What about groundskeepers?"

"If I'm lining them up," Anna said, "I'll [also] circle into other teams. Whatever team he's playing, I will s- - -w all them too."
Hmmm. There's nothing quite like hearing your wife, in front of a national radio audience, say that "everybody get's a turn." The only thing funnier than Anna Benson's comments is the headline in the New York Post: MET WIFE: I'M A TEAM PLAYER. Nice.

OK, enough with the silliness. Here are the week 13 picks. Last week I slowly gained ground and I'm now a whopping seven games over .500 (and still -$120 in the hole). This could go down to the wire (I'm not sure what that means, but it seemed appropriate).
Season: 89 - 82 - 5
Last week: 11 - 5
Earnings to date: - $120

Week 1 picks Week 10 picks
Week 2 picks Week 11 picks
Week 3 picks Week 12 picks
Week 4 picks
Week 5 picks
Week 6 picks
Week 7 picks
Week 8 picks
Week 9 picks