Alright, one of the few upsides to the two weeks leading up to the Super Bowl is that one out of every seven or eight articles are actually interesting, insightful, or at the very least, gives me something funny to write about. And given that there have been close to 20,000 pointless columns written in the last two weeks, that means I still have a lot to cover. So let's get to it:... I saw this quote:
"I don't think I have a split personality," Pittsburgh safety Troy Polamalu said. "I believe the same person I am now is the same person I am at home -- just relaxed, passionate about everything that I do. Whether it's reading a Bible, or just hanging out with my wife. I live my life with a passion whether it's at home or it's on the football field. There's no difference."And my first thought was this: maybe Troy should have a shtick where, after laying the wood to a player, he stands over them and quotes scripture, Jules Winnfield-style. Just a thought.
... My wife has a dilemma. Hines Ward has been her favorite player forever, but with Troy getting so much exposure -- particularly the one-on-one interviews where he's especially charming (or so I'm told) -- she's torn. And stories like this only make it tougher:
Foote said teammates such as Troy Polamalu helped him adjust [to having an 8-year-old son].OK, Troy, we get it. You're a great person. You're really making it tough for the guy who enjoys drinking beer, sitting in the La-Z-Boy, and not doing much else. Give it a rest already. OK, I'm kidding, but in all honesty, after listening to a recent Polamalu press conference, my wife turned to me and asked, half-kiddingly, "Why don't you grow your hair out?" Yeah, that would be sweet.
"We looked at it as an opportunity because both my wife and I love children," Polamalu said. "We tried to just give him a helping hand, whether my wife was tutoring his son or cooking, or if we were both baby-sitting and hanging out with him."
... I love the fact that (a) Max Starks stumbled over to the Pontiac, MI Wal-Mart to buy shampoo, and (b) some fans offered to buy him Doritos.
... Ken Whisenhunt mentioned earlier this week that he's had no contact with the Raiders, but that, of course, may change come Monday. Personally, I hope he stays, but for strictly selfish reasons. Still, this is an interesting read, and sheds some light on not only how accomplished Steelers QB coach, Mark Whipple has been during his career, but that he also might be in line for Whisenhunt's job if he leaves.
... There are a couple of good things in this story; for starters, it looks like Tyrone Carter and Bryant McFadden are from the same part of Florida, and have become boys, even though they didn't know each other until training camp. My hunch is that Carter told McFadden early on that they were going to be friends, no questions asked.
Scroll down a bit and you see this little tidbit:
And could any question have been as ridiculous as this one, asked of right guard Kendall Simmons while he stood on the artificial turf at indoor Ford Field: "Do you think the wind is going to affect the kicking game?"No word on whether Jason Whitlock asked a follow-up question about whether Jeff George is still better than Matt Hasselbeck and Ben Roethlisberger combined.
... I love the fact that after the Patriots released him, Sean Morey drove a commercial furniture truck up to the Patriots complex to ask Bill Belichick whether he was going to re-sign him. That, my friends, makes for a great special teams player. And a great after school special.
... Bayless still sucks.
... By now, everybody knows that Jerome Bettis got the key to the city earlier this week. What I found particularly amusing is that the last dude to get the key to Detroit was Saddam Hussein. Said the Bus:
"I don't know if I'll be sharing that with Saddam ... I think they canceled his key. They changed the locks on that one."In other news, Bettis declared himself dictator of Detroit, stated that he will only wear white suits with fedoras, or military outfits with berets, and will commission a bunch of dopey monuments all over the city depicting his likeness releasing doves, aimlessly firing rifles, or doing something else equally stupid.
... I thought Eric was kidding, until I read this. The highlight, in addition to a lot of asinine questions (Like this one for Floyd "Pork Chop" Womack: "So what member of the team has the most sex?" His answer: "Me."), the highlight has to be the photo of Melyssa Ford taking a snap from Chris Spencer. She looks like a gussied up elephant keeper, well, cleaning up after one of the elephants.
... It was mentioned in the comments a couple of days ago, and the internets are all atwitter with the news of Big Ben having some drinks with the ladies. Personally, I couldn't care less. He's 23-years-old and single. And as long as he's not breaking any laws, or doing something that's morally or ethically wrong (although I guess one could argue that pouring JD down some lass's throat could be morally questionable), then fine by me. Plus, like I was telling my buddy Andy, Ben's basically doing what every other guy did when they were 23. The only difference is that most of us made $20K a year, had no chance of getting laid, and nobody gave a crap who we were. See, we're all like Big Ben. And depending on when the photos were taken, maybe Roethlisberger was celebrating the fact that he has the chance to make a cool $500K this weekend.
... Shane Igoe sends along this link to a post on his blog about the Steelers' sporting the Jerome Bettis Notre Dame throwbacks. The Fightin' Irish haven't had much luck wearing the green jerseys (kinda like the Chargers and the powder blues), but luckily the Steelers won't be wearing them Sunday. Plus, as Shane points out, the last time ND won in Green, JB was in the backfield.
... And because I know everybody's as big a Sci-Fi nerd as me (by the way, I just got Battlestar Galactica: Season 1 in the mail), here's some interesting news about Firefly.
... I was giving Bill Simmons the business a couple of days ago because he's seemingly always taking shots at the Bus, and to be fair, he did qualify his latest round of fat jokes with this:
"Note: I have nothing against Bettis, one of the most genuine guys in any sport and a mortal lock to evolve into a Barkley-type studio guy when he retires. Just playing devil's advocate here. If Brandon Jacobs was the one fumbling on that Nick Harper play, every NFL writers and talking head would have been screaming "How could this dummy not have two hands on the ball?!?!" for the next 96 hours. And you know I'm right."Yeah, I don't know if Simmons is right or not, but I do know he's disrespecting my buddy Andy by saying, "How could this dummy not have two hands on the ball?!?!" Look, it's pretty simple, Jerome can't physically get both hands on the ball; he's too fat.
... Here are some of the highlights from Wednesday's Joey Porter press conference:
"We're going to try to tap out as many people as we can, I'm going to put it like that."And my favorite:
"Tell him he's soft. He's a tight end and I've never, ever been afraid of a tight end ... They better not make him block me on Sunday. I bet they're not going to make that coaching mistake."
"I watch him on film. He don't want to block ... He's a blocking liability. They try to run a play with him trying to block me, it's not going to happen. He can't be in the same league with me, period. There's a large gap between us."
Porter then raised his left arm over his head and said, "This is Joey," and lowered his right arm and said, "This is Jerramy."
Reporter: So you haven't heard of Jerramy Stevens before Tuesday?Priceless. Doing a 180, this is funny, in a really random way.
Porter: Never heard of Jerramy Stevens before Tuesday. I heard of him because I looked in the media guide, and knew who he was, but as far as him doing something? No.
Reporter: Were you impressed by Stevens' stats?
Porter: What are his stats?
Reporter: Uh, did you see them?
Porter: I haven't seen them ... I'm waiting for you -- you're the media, that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to have the stats and numbers so you can tell me. I'm asking you what are his stats?
Reporter: (inaudible)
Porter: You don't even know. See. Now, if it was Tony Gonzalez, or something, you woulda knew. You'd a been like, yeah, 82 catches and seven touchdowns. You'd woulda gave 'em to me fast. That lets you know what we're talking about. You can't even give me none of his stats, because you don't look at him as a playmaker, you don't look at him as a guy you have to keep up with his stats.
Reporter: You don't look at him as a playmaker?
Porter: No. I look at him like he's a guy who might catch a ball if he's wide open. He's supposed to do that.
... One last thought before getting to this week's pick (like I even need to waste the energy typing out who I think will win), I just have one request of the Steelers for the weekend. Please, please, PLEASE, let's not have any Eugene Robinson situations. Keep the mouse in the house.
***
Overlooked amid all the hoopla surrounding the Super Bowl, is the little fact that I'm on a six-game winning streak. Considering that I correctly picked something like 12 percent of the games this season, that's a minor miracle. I don't want to overanalyze this, so I'll get right to it (even though the oddsmakers have disrespected me, Hines Ward, and Joey Porter by making the Steeler the favorites):
AWAY HOME LINE PICKSeason: 120 - 140 - 6
SEA PIT 4.0 PIT
Two weeks ago: 2 - 0
Earnings to date: - $3400
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