This is easily the most ridiculous thing I've seen -- maybe ever (and no, the fact that Booyah! Scott went to UNC and is wearing the gear isn't lost on me). You too can book Stuart Scott for a personal speaking engagement for the low low price of $25,000. While it's hard to imagine someone being able to justify spending that kind of money on that kind of talent, that's not even the worst of it. The human hairdo -- Mitch Albom -- charges a mind-boggling $40,000 per event. I think the website Deadspin puts it best:"You know, we wonder if Mitch Albom actually has to be there giving the speech to collect his cash, or if he can just say he was there."What's amazing is that while Albom's fees can get you a BMW, for the price of Hyundai Elantra you can have Tony Kornheiser. No word yet on Mark Madden's rate (and for the record, I actually pay people for all of my speaking engagements).
***
My buddy Des is single-handedly torpedoing the Red Sox season. He's already killed off the two starting running backs on the Steelers (with an eye on the third), and now he's set his sights on a team he actually likes. Here's what he said a couple of days ago after the Sox beat the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim ( and CA, USA, North America, Earth, Milky Way ... you get the point):
I'm expecting at least 500 words on that bottom of the ninth, inside fastball that Ortiz deposited in the right field stands last night to win one for the home team. And about 250 words on Robinson Cano's fielding prowess.Well, the Sox did gain one game on the Yankees Tuesday night, but the next night, the Curse of Des willed Jason "Freakazoid" Giambi into hitting a 8th-inning go-ahead bomb allowing the Devil Rays to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory; and then last night Boston went up against maybe the goofiest guy to call himself a professional athlete this side of Philbert Mickelson. Said goofy guy (Paul Byrd) proceeded to throw a shutout as the Red Sox lost 3-0. At this rate, I fully expect the Orioles to catch the Red Sox before the season is over. OK, maybe that's overstating it just a bit, but you get my point.
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If I'm going to give Joe Bendel the business for writing seemingly inane articles, I also have to recognize when he actually conveys something deemed newsworthy. Yesterday's Tribune-Review piece on Marvel Smith was one of those instances. Of course, Bendel also informed his readers that Marvel is pronounced "Mar-vell" just so they don't confuse him with the popular comic book people, but I guess I can overlook that bit of silliness.(No word on the pronunciation of "Smith," however.)
And no sooner had I typed the previous paragraph than Joe Bendel comes back with a tired column in today's paper. Here's the headline:
"Rooney II Wants Another Trophy Case"Stop the presses! The owners want to win another Super Bowl? How did this not make the front page? Here are some of the more illuminating bits:
"Rooney II wouldn't object to winning that fifth trophy Feb. 5, 2006, date of Super Bowl XL in Detroit. It's been 26 long years since the Steelers have won a Super Bowl, and Rooney II believes it's time the Lombardi Trophy returns to Pittsburgh."Followed by:
"So, it's one of those goals that everybody has, and, maybe, as you are here longer, your appetite becomes stronger."In other news, water is wet, and Mark Madden likes doughnuts.
***
Well, I'm batting 1.000 for the season thus far (after the Patriots squeaked one out last night against maybe the worst defense in the NFL) and things can only get worse from here. That fact, however, won't slow me up ... not even a little bit. So on to the picks:
AWAY HOME LINE PICK
OAK NE -7.5 NE
CHI WAS -5.5 WAS
CIN CLE 3.5 CIN
DEN MIA 4.5 DEN
HOU BUF -5.5 HOU
NO CAR -7.0 CAR
NYJ KC -3.0 KC
SEA JAX -3.0 SEA
TB MIN -6.0 MIN
TEN PIT -7.0 PIT
ARI NYG -3.0 ARI
DAL SD -4.5 SD
GB DET -3.0 GB
STL SF 6.0 STL
IND BAL 3.0 IND
PHI ATL 1.0 PHI
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