OK, we're heading into Day 2 of Super Bowl week and the complaints about all the Jerome Bettis coverage seems to be worse than the actual coverage itself. Last week Julie asked if I had any thoughts on David Schoenfield's Page 2 lambasting of the Bus, and -- big surprise -- I do.Schoenfield uses all the "Jerome is coming home again -- and this time it's for the Super Bowl!" talk as a backdrop to write that even though the Bus is headed to the Hall of Fame, he probably doesn't rank among the top-25 all-time running backs.
You know what? I wrote an article for Football Outsiders last summer taking a look at the all-time best RBs, but instead of looking at raw yardage numbers, I compared each back to his peers (you can read all the gory details here). Anyway, Bettis didn't fair all that well. In fact, just as Schoenfield wrote in his article, the Bus didn't rank among the top-25 on the all-time rush list, even though, when based solely on yardage totals, he's currently fifth.
But here's the thing: how many running backs in the history of the NFL, listed at 5'11" 255lbs, played for at least ten years, amassed anything close to the totals Bettis has amassed, all while being drafted out of college as a fullback? Hmmm? Anybody? Yep, didn't think so. Yeah, there are plenty of "big backs" who have come into the league, wreaked havoc for a short period, then had their bodies fall apart on them (like, say, Earl Campbell). And if that doesn't impress you, remember that the Bus didn't move to tailback until midway through his rookie season when the two backs in front of him went down. It's not like he came out of college being touted as the next Jim Brown or Gale Sayers, or even Franco Harris for that matter. He came into the league as a fat guy (though admittedly, not as chubby as he is now), moved from fullback to tailback, made some adjustments in how he ran the ball (instead of trying to run everybody over, Bettis used his Fred Flintstone "twinkle toes" to make more tacklers miss), and 13 years later, here we are.
So is Jerome one of the best running backs in NFL history? The numbers say "no." But when you consider what the Bus has been able to do given his size, and the punishment he's taken, there's no question in my mind that he belongs in the Hall of Fame. And if that ain't enough for you, I haven't even talked about what a solid person he is. Anybody who was nicknamed "Baby Huey" growing up, and preferred bowling to football, and turned out like Bettis turned out, deserves to be in the Canton. The fact that he's fifth on the all-time rushing list just makes things easier. And if that doesn't work, he can always get a White Bronco, have Hines drive him up and down I-376 in a low-speed chase, and take his chances.
And if all this sounds like I'm just being a big homer, then, you're probably right. But hey, this guy's in the HOF (and rightfully so), and his numbers are eerily similar to Bettis' numbers. To steal a phrase from the guy least likely to pick the Steelers to win anything other than a pie eating competition, "I'm just sayin'".
***
Last night on Total Access, Rich Eisen and Rod Woodson had Jerome Bettis and Hines Ward on set to talk about -- what else -- Jerome Bettis. Anyway, what followed might be the funniest back-and-forth since Woodson busted up Terrell Davis prior to the Denver game:
Hines: ... We want to send JB out on a great note, and what better way than to win the Super Bowl where it all started from.Maybe the greatest sports moment that didn't take place during a game. Comedy gold.
Rod: Are you saying this is it?
Bus: He said (pointing to Hines).
Rod: He said it?
Bus: He's pushing me out already. He cried for me last year, now he's got the foot out for me this year.
Rod (to Hines): I know last year you cried when things didn't go right. If you cry again, just don't stop breathing bro.
(Laughter)
Rod: Because last year, you scared me. You know, like when you whup your kids, and you think they're not going to start breathing again? I mean, he stopped --
Hines: I'm an emotional guy.
***
I give Joe Starkey a hard time every now and again, but his column in Monday's Tribune-Review just reinforces the fact that the Steelers have had a lot of good karma this season. I would've put Bryant McFadden's interception in the end zone to end regulation against the Jags on the list, but the Steelers lost. Not even karma can overcome Tommy Maddox.
***
Random Kyle Boller Funny Quote of the Week
I was listening to Mike and Mike this morning and Golic busted out this quote from Trent Dilfer, who was talking about how good Seahawks left tackle, Walter Jones is compared to his peers:
"He's not only the best lineman in the game, he's by far the best," says Cleveland Browns quarterback Trent Dilfer, who spent four years with the Seahawks. "It's not like the difference between Walter and the next-best lineman is like Peyton Manning to Carson Palmer; it's like Peyton Manning to Kyle Boller."How do you respond to this? Well, if you're me, and you like making fun of the Ravens (even though their seasons been over for weeks now), the first thought that comes to your mind is the scene from Tommy Boy where Richard's car is totally destroyed by a wayward deer:
Tommy: It's alive!Yeah, I know, a long way to go for a joke, but who doesn't love that scene? And Tommy's last line was literally the first thing that came into my head after reading Dilfer's quote. Too funny. Unless, of course, you're Kyle Boller.
Richard: I think it tried to bite me!
Tommy: No way that just happened.
Richard: My car is completely destroyed.
Tommy: I swear I've seen a lot of stuff in my life, but that was awesome!
***
Henigin sent this really good link from Scott Paulsen. I'm guessing this is the same Scott Paulsen who had a radio show opposite Mark Madden. Paulsen always seemed like a good guy, but without a bombastic, contrarian view on virtually everything, he didn't stand a chance against Madden. Still, good stuff. And by the way, there were rumors floating around on the message boards Monday that Madden had a heart attack this weekend. Don't know if it's true, but as much as I don't like what Madden has to say, I hope big chubs recovers (if, in fact, he did have an episode). Plus, if Madden leaves this world, the Pittsburgh-area strip clubs would take a huge hit in lap dance revenue.
***
... I watched the Steelers' initial press conference in the Land of Jerome Bettis, and the first thing that struck me as I watched Cowher stroll to the podium was, "Huh, Cowher must be paying homage to Kordell with that sweater/shirt get up." In fact, that's all I could think about as he answered questions. Honestly, it was mesmerizing.
... I listened to a couple of Q&A's with the Bus, and it was all pretty predictable stuff. But as I fast-forwarded through it, the funniest bit didn't require any audio. Jerome showed up in a Detroit Tigers hat and jacket. A few minutes in, under all those heat lamps, Jerome lost the hat. A couple more questions, and the jacket comes off. At that point I just closed my eyes for fear that at any second, Bettis might end up sitting there topless, while the NFL Network's Adam Schefter dabbed his forehead with a hanky (and probably feeding him grapes, too; you can thank me later for that visual).
... Speaking of Schefter, he was also at the Casey Hampton interview. It was a weird setup because they had Hampton sitting at a table, with a mic, and a bunch of tape recorders. In front of him were all the media types, and standing directly over his right shoulder was Schefter. And given that Hampton doesn't have much of a neck, when Schefter started firing questions at him, the Hampburglar didn't even attempt to turn around when giving his answers. At one point, after the third follow up about the Seahawks O-line, Hampton literally looked like if he could get his meat hooks on Schefter, he'd be a nice little appetizer before dinner.
***
This is the absolute last thing I'm going to say about the draft until after Sunday. My buddy Andy makes the point that it's really not even worth discussing since Pittsburgh's got one more game to play, and that's probably right. Anyway, I watched the Senior Bowl last Saturday because, well, I was really bored. And Michael Robinson took a lot of snaps at QB and looked really good ... as anything but a QB. He gained something like 60 yards, and made a lot of plays with his feet. OK, that's it on the the next ARE, college players in general, Mel Kiper's hair and any other draft-related stuff until next week.
***
And even though nobody cares, the Tar Heels had a nice little win last Saturday against the Arizona Wildcats. For those of you keeping score at home, Quentin Thomas, who, shall we say, has struggled with turnovers this season, scored a career high six points and registered a nice little doughnut in the TO department. And ever since Wes Miller made the No Name Hall of Fame, he's gone bonkers. He's started three games, and there are rumors that the Dean Dome might have to raise the rafters by 10 feet or so, because Miller, even though he's a shade under five feet, gets quite a lot of arc on his shots. My guess is, he got tired of having all his jumpshots swatted out of the gym as he was growing up. Now, the little guy with no neck has perfected this shot to the point where I half-expect it to start raining inside the Smith Center.
Here's a quick analogy -- something you might see on the SAT's one day:
Q.) Tyrone Carter:Bob Sanders::__________:JJ RedickIf you answered either A.) or E.), you get into college. Congratulations.
A.) Wes Miller
B.) Peyton Manning
C.) Barrett Brooks
D.) Kevin Millar
E.) Who cares? JJ Redick sucks.
|