... Might as well get this started off on the right foot. Which means it's CPW time:
CPW... While waiting for the Steelers - Chargers Monday Night game, here's a little something I threw together to honor the Baltimore Ravens hitting rock bottom only five weeks into the season (and yes, I'm talking about the 22-penalty performance against the Lions).
Rob Rossi is immediately catapulted into "Champagne Room Status" with this ridiculous interview with the Steelers' Heath Miller. In all the inane Q&A's professional athletes have been apart of, this has to rank at the top of the list for "most worthless." I can't find one redeeming thing about this, nor one even accidentally interesting question. Keep up the good work Rossi.
Week 5: San Diego Chargers
Now, on to that Chargers game. First, a couple of things to remember: this was Bettis' first game of the season, and this was the beginning of the end (of 2005 ... kinda) for Staley. I remember being a little surprised that Cowher opted to go with Willie Parker, Bettis, and Verron Haynes during this game, but hey, hindsight's 20/20. This is also the game that saw a whole lot of Steelers fan crap their collective pants when Ben, on the last drive of the game, went down grabbing his knee like he was Nancy Kerrigan. More on that later ... to the game:
Jeepers, this game reminded me a lot of last year's Jacksonville game. The Steelers were on the road, both teams were really physical, and somehow Ben Roethlisberger and Jeff Reed find a way to win it. And much like the Jacksonville game, the officiating on Monday night was about as bad as A-Rod during the ALDS.Little did I know that the officiating would only get worse. In retrospect, this game seems like the "good ol' days of craptacular officiating." Oh, how I pine for those days. But it gets better:
... how ridiculous was that "you have to let the player fair catch the ball, no matter if he can't actually catch" penalty on Chidi Iwuoma? By buddy Andy called me after the play and brought up a good point: what happens if the player calls for a fair catch, but the ball hits him in the helmet and bounces 30 feet straight up -- does the punt team have to wait patiently while he tries to actually catch the ball on the second go-round? What makes this even more insane was that there was no way in hell Sproles was going to actually catch the ball on his second try either -- whether Chidi ran over him or not. He was falling back and the ball was going in the other direction. But hey, when did common sense ever get in the way of crappy officiating? And if you know the answer to that question, please also explain to me who exactly touched Hines Ward down on that touchdown catch in the second quarter that was called back.I'm guessing this wouldn't have been quite so funny if the Steelers had lost. Yet more CPW chicanery, this time from the ESPN studio crew (specifically Stuart Scott):
Anyway, Jaws, Irvin and Jackson all picked the Chargers for reasons that weren't totally idiotic. Then Stuart Scott offered this nugget:Good times."I'm going with Chargers because the Patriots beat the Steelers, and the Chargers beat the Patriots. It's simple math."Great point dumbass. Using that logic, the NFL should only play four weeks, and then use the transitive property to project the rest of the season, the playoffs, and the Super Bowl. Simply fantastic. The upside, however, was that I was pretty sure the game was a lock at this point.
... One thing that surprised me about the Chargers was that their front seven was a lot better than I expected. They wreaked havoc with the offensive line and Big Ben early, but thanks to a very well-rested Bus, he slowly wore them down:
Look, it's one thing to have to take down 205 lbs. Willie Parker. It's a whole other story trying to tackle Casey Hampton dressed up as #36 for Halloween as he drags you up and down the field. After a couple quarters of that nonsense, most people just give up. And that exactly what happened on the last drive of the game. The Chargers looked tired, and the fact that Pittsburgh kept running Jerome up the middle probably didn't make them feel any better. Honestly, when Big Ben went out and everybody in the stadium knew the Steelers were going to run the ball, the Chargers still couldn't stop them.And remember Troy acting particularly maniacal?
... because Troy was going bonkers from the first whistle. It actually looked like was interested in doing one thing: laying a hit on Gates. Run play? Hit Gates. Pass play? Hit Gates. James Harrison interception? Hit Gates, hit somebody else, and then hit Gates again.He and Gates seem like two of the quietest guys on the field, but for this game it might as well have been Randy "Macho Man" Savage vs. George "The Animal" Steel. It was that animated.
As I look back at some of the comments from the game, this might've been the funniest (after the Harrison interception where he leap-frogged LT):
The official commentary on the James Harrison interception return, provided by the Aqua Teen Hunger Force:Followed by this:
"Look how bad I'm beating you! Have you no shame? Get your dead ass up and fight me"
I was so disappointed Harrison didn’t put a hit on Brees as he ran him over after the interception. Would have been more entertaining than getting tripped by him.And while this was the best win of the season to date for the Steelers, things were about to turn sour. Ben's knee injury wasn't season-ending, but he would have to miss at least one week of action. And given that Maddox didn't even make the trip to San Diego because he pulled his calf muscle getting out of his outdoor, above-ground jacuzzi, all eyes were on Charlie Batch. Well, until Maddox found out that Roethlisberger wasn't playing, got some Mr. Miyagi treatment on his leg, and pronounced himself ready to start come the Jacksonville game. Yeah, in retrospect, that was probably a bad idea.
... Here's how I started my "Loser Picking Winners, Wk 6" post:
Other than my buddy Andy, am I the only person who thinks that Charlie Batch is at least as good as (and maybe better) than Tommy Maddox? I know I don't have the benefit of seeing practice, so I have no idea how these guys look on a daily basis, but I got to see Maddox play for a season and a half, and I've seen Batch, first as a starter in Detroit, and then during his preseason mop-up duties in Pittsburgh the last few seasons. I'm not convinced they're so different that Maddox is clearly the #2 guy.I know, I know, "clairvoyant" is the first word that pops in my mind too. OK, not really. Especially after reading a few paragraphs down:
And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I think Maddox is garbage and should be relegated to Brian St. Pierre status, I'm just saying that I really don't see much difference between his abilities and Batch's; at least not enough to unequivocally assume he'll be the starter if healthy. Plus, shouldn't Batch get an opportunity to play if for no other reason than he threw a 50-yard bomb to Sean Morey to win a preseason game against the Panthers? I mean, how many guys can say they threw a completed pass to Morey? Seriously?I would like to take this opportunity to not only apologize to Charlie Batch for comparing his ability to that of Tommy Maddox, but also to Brian St. Pierre. You know your team's backup QB is really sucky when you're longing for the days of Brian St. Pierre. And yes, I admit it, I would've loved to see St. Pierre start that Ravens game.
(As an aside, what kind of person must St. Pierre have been in a previous life? First, he comes to Pittsburgh and gets shuttled between the big club and the practice squad while backing up Tommy Maddox. He finally has enough, refuses to sign up for practice squad duty, is unemployed, and then gets picked up by the Ravens to ... you guessed it, play on their practice squad. Except this time, he's backing up Kyle Boller. I will now observe a moment of silence for Brian St. Pierre's career.)
Week 6: Jacksonville Jaguars ...
The Beginning of the End (of Tommy Maddox's career)
It's not hard to remember what the main theme of "Why the Steelers lost this game" was, but lost in all the Tommy Maddox talk was the fact that the defense -- in particular Ike Taylor and Bryant McFadden (McFadden's first action of the year, by the way) -- played well enough to win. But guess what? It's more fun talking about Maddox, so here goes:
2-1. That's my record at Heinz Field after Tommy Maddox played like Kyle Boller dressed up as Tommy Maddox for Halloween. Maddox started slowly Sunday, throwing an interception on the sixth play of the game, and things only got worse from there. A lot worse.Now, there's been some disagreement as to whether Maddox's worst game was this one or the 2002 Texans effort. Countertorque thought the Texans, I obviously thought the Jags, but somewhere on this site somebody left a comment besting us both. Of course, I can't find said comment, but I remember it had to do with a particularly abysmal T-Max peformance while with the Giants. I'll keep looking.
And after the first pick -- which was intended for Nate Washington (who was only playing because Hines Ward was injured) -- my first thought was, "Huh, Nate must've run the wrong route, because that pass was too awful to have been thrown there on purpose." Nope. After seeing the game unfold, it became pretty clear to me that that's exactly where Maddox had intended to throw it. He went on to throw two more picks and for good measure, he threw in a fumble, just to make sure that there was no doubt in anyone's mind that this was his worst game as a Steeler -- even surpassing that Texans debacle back in 2002.
Either way, this comment from Rene G. was hilarious:
Incredible. It is clear to me that Tommy was trying to get a job with the Jaguars, showing their coach that he can get the ball to Jaguars players. There is simply no other explanation...... Other than questioning why the hell Cowher stuck with Maddox through the second half and into overtime was the little issue of the offense not using Jerome Bettis at all during the fourth quarter, and especially on the first drive of OT. (That eventually resulted in Maddox losing a fumble because Kreider allegedly knocked the ball out of his hands. Yeah, right.) SD commented on what a lot of people wondered:
So I looked at the Post Gazette this morning expecting to see that Jerome Bettis had re-injured himself in some way. How else to explain his being sidelined yesterday with the game on the line and the backup QB under center? I mean surely if any situation called for your big ball control RB, this was it, no? But I could find no evidence of Bettis being injured in any way whatsoever. I guess our fearless chin was too enamored with Tommy's sharp passing and Mr. Parker's 2.6 yard per carry avg to use the bus.Yep, that was very curious, but here's what I said at the time:
One more thought on the fumble: a couple of people left comments yesterday wondering why the Bus wasn't in the game during the overtime. That's exactly what my buddy Andy was asking as we left the stadium. I can't disagree, but here's the thing: O.J. Simpson could've been in the backfield with a black ski-mask and a butcher's knife ready to slash his way to the end zone and it wouldn't have done the Steelers any good because Maddox still fumbled the snap.OK, I think we get it, Tommy single-handedly lost the game. But like I mentioned earlier, Ike and McFadden had great games, Quincy Morgan solidified the kickoff return position, and Heath Miller had one of his best games to date.
Now if we're assuming that Turnover Tommy would be competent enough to actually handle the center exchange, then yep, the Bus should've been in there, (and preferably run up the middle instead of running two sweeps, like they chose to do with Willie Parker).
... Sam Blackburn is my nominee for Small Town CPW of the Year. He's also nominated for unintentional CPW of the Year.
... One more note on Maddox, this time with some perspective:
By the way, for all the grief Kordell Stewart had to deal with -- and is still dealing with -- during his tenure in Pittsburgh, you have to give the guy credit. After being benched in favor of Maddox in 2002 -- after being named to the Pro Bowl and team MVP in 2001 -- Stewart started and won two games during the middle of the season while Tommy recovered from temporary paralysis. I think that's important to point out. I guess it's also worth noting that the Ravens currently have three former Steeler cast-offs as backup QBs -- including Stewart -- and they're probably all better than the incumbent, Kyle Boller.)Now, on to the Bengals ...
Week 7: Cincinnati Bengals
There were some legitimate concerns heading into this game: for starters, the Bengals had only lost one game, the Steelers' starting QB was injured two weeks prior, and their backup looked dreadful in his one start, and the Pittsburgh defense was pretty banged up -- not a good place to be when facing Carson Palmer and the Cincy offense. But hey, like I said at the time, The Ball Never Lies.
... This pretty much sums up the afternoon for the Bengals:
As it stands, [Cincy's] basically a less extreme version of the Minnesota Vikings prior to all the Sex Boat Hysteria stuff. Great offense, abysmal (in this case, run) defense. Look, the Steelers' offensive line has struggled the pass few weeks, and when this unit doesn't have a player whistled for a penalty (in a game with plenty of questionable calls), or singled out for missing a block, you can expect big things in the run game.Until rereading this I had forgotten that Pittsburgh ran for over 200 yards on this hapless bunch.
[...]
And when Willie wasn't slashing his way through the Bengals defense, the Bus was running over the Bengals defense. He finished with 56 yards on 13 carries, and every one of those yards included Jerome punishing some Cincy defender on his way down the field. This game plan works great when Pittsburgh's able to run block -- wear out the opponent with the chubby guy and follow that up with the fast guy.
And maybe the most unbelievable line of the day (well, after the Steelers total rushing yards statistics) was Big Ben's: 9 for 14, 93 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT ... all to two receivers. That's right, Hines Ward and Heath Miller are the only two guys to catch passes. That's pretty amazing.Yes, that was too easy, but hey, Tommy Maddox played maybe the worst game in organized football in 2005, so he's going to catch some flak for it, OK?
[...]
And as long as I'm talking about Big Ben, uh, did anyone else noticed some improvement in the QB position this week? OK, that was too easy.
... This game also saw a rash of really craptastic officiating. If you scroll half way down, I document five of the most egregious calls.
... This might be the best comment from the game:
i consider yesterdays game not to be a win over the bengals but rather a win over ESPN and hype in general.After the game, we find out that Tommy Maddox's house was vandalized, only to later find out that Tommy Maddox was not telling the truth ... thanks to his wife calling him out in the press. Which led to my oh so witty observation:
don't believe the hype.
- Eric
Which reminds me, I read somewhere -- and I can't remember where -- that it would be well within a fans' right to throw their old Maddox jerseys in his yard after that Jags game without it being considered vandalism [but still crap]. Maybe the bob-and-weave reporter can ask that question: "So, Tommy [bob], in all that garbage strewn across your yard [weave], did you find any old #8 Steelers jerseys? [run]"And that led to this oh so witty comment from SD:
I seem to recall a scene from All the Right Moves in which Tommy Cruise drunkenly participates in the trashing of his coach's yard. Do you suppose Tommy Maddox watched a little late night cable before making those charges?
Oddly, this will be Touchdown Tommy's lasting impression on Steelers fans. Or maybe it's not odd. And maybe his lasting impression will be the Texans game. Either way, it's funny. In all seriousness, I think I'll remember Tommy for two things:(a) being paralyzed in the Tennessee game; and
(b) leading the team in that unbelievable 2002 Wild Card playoff victory against the Browns. (Does anybody else -- who's not a Browns fan -- remember that if Dennis Northcutt didn't drop a late-game third down pass, that game was over? Oh, and I'll also remember Fu for this game too. He might have been the most oft-injured player in the history of the city of all Pittsburgh sports, but he scored the decisive TD in that game.)
OK, I initially set out to do four weeks at a time in recapping the season, but I think I might shorten it to three weeks at a time for three reasons: first, I'm lazy, and this takes longer than I thought; second, if I recap four games at a time, I'll be pushing 20,000 word posts. That's something I don't want, and trust me, you don't either; third, I figure I can string this along right up until the draft. That way, when there's nothing to talk about during the dead weeks leading up to April 29 (especially if this CBA thing falls apart ... which I don't really think it will, but what do I know?), at least there will be the Offseason Round File. I'll be back Monday to talk about Duke - UNC, the Combine, and who knows, maybe even some Red Sox stuff.
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