Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Sloppy Seconds

Well, well, well. Just when you thought you'd heard the last of Mark Bellhorn, he shows up in a Yankees uniform and is promptly inserted into the lineup at ... third base? Yep. Bellhorn is so important to the Yankees that they're willing to move their perennial Gold Glover, A-Rod, to DH. Son1 broke the story yesterday and also asks a very important question:
A revival of the Bellhorn Watch, perhaps?
Without a doubt. In fact, I've had way too much free time on my hands since Bellhorn has been on the DL. Of course I have the sneaking suspicion that this version of the Bellhorn Watch will end up with him hitting something like .400 while helping New York pull out all the close games that Giambi has single-handedly been responsible for to date.

Seriously though, does anyone else find this a bit peculiar? I mean, of all the teams in professional baseball (including those in Japan), the one with the highest payroll is interested in Bellhorn ... and Embree -- two Red Sox castoffs that were destined to finish their respective careers in the minor leagues.

I can kinda understand picking up Embree. I'm well aware of the fact that he can't pitch, but he's left-handed and there will always be a market for left-handers in major league baseball no matter how bad they are (see Mike Remlinger). Still, he has shown the same level of suckitude in his brief stint with the Yankees that so endeared him to Red Sox fan as the season progressed. Acquiring Bellhorn on the other hand, is a complete mystery. I guess he could periodically spell Cano at second, but I don't see him regularly playing third instead of A-Rod, there's no way in hell he DH's (unless the Yankees want Bellhorn to break the single-season strikeout record), and if things are so bad in New York's outfield that they're thinking about moving Bellhorn out there, then they might as well mail it in even though they're only a couple of games out of first place.

Now the Sox just have to release Millar and let Cashman and Steinbrenner work their magic.

Speaking of Millar, on what planet does it seem like a good idea to bleach your goatee? It's one thing to dye your hair Billy Idol white, but what's the conversation sound like that ends, "Yep, it's a done deal. I'm bleaching the beard." The fact that Schilling sauntered out to the mound with his hair also bleached only reinforced my point.

Schilling got off to another rocky start last night, giving up five runs before settling down. In the first few innings however, Schilling was giving up line drives at such a rate that at one point I actually thought it was snowing. As much as I disparage Millar, and occasionally Bellhorn, Schilling really is the biggest dope on this team. Millar seems like a nice enough guy and apparently he's great in the clubhouse (to which I say, "Make him a clubhouse attendant," but that's a whole other thing). Bellhorn never complained even though if most players struggled as much as he did this season, major league baseball would have one of the highest suicide rates of any profession. Schilling on the other hand, is a loud mouth whiner. He's got a comment on everything. Honestly, who calls into radio shows while driving to work ... everyday ... when the topic is either you or your co-workers? Maybe he should worry about things like throwing strikes and limiting teams to fewer than nine hits per game. Just a thought.

The Steelers have suffered some big injuries this preseason and it looks like Willie Parker will start during Week 1. I just chalked it up to a bit of misfortune on the Steelers' part, but after getting this email from my buddy Desmond, I now know he's to blame:
I am in serious running back trouble in my fantasy league. My second running back is Duce Staley. I know-I panicked. How many carries will Willie Parker get initially?
Well, that explains everything. Desmond is single-handedly ruining the Steelers season through his fantasy draft. This is the same guy who had Bellhorn on his fantasy team too. Willie Parker was scheduled to get 15-20 carries, but if Desmond drafts him, I'll put the over-under at 0. We can only hope that he takes Jeff Reed, Pittsburgh's defense, Hines Ward (which will not only guarantee an injury, but means he won't sign a new deal before the season starts either) and Ben Roethlisberger. And just in case the Steelers only win six games this season, let me go ahead and say, "Thanks Des."