Orioles Talk

Thanks god the Red Sox were able to take two from the Orioles this week. The season's barely three weeks old and I'd already grown really tired of the "this is finally Baltimore's season" stuff served with a side plate of "Brian Roberts might hit .400 with 50 homers this season!"

Thankfully we can all come back to planet Earth now. In 18 innings the O's scored a whopping 0 runs while Brian Roberts played more like Eric Roberts. Consider these sobering numbers:

NAME     AB     R   H   SO    AVG
Roberts   7     0   0   3    .000
Bellhorn  6     0   1   2    .167

And if that's not bad enough, how about this:

NAME     AB     R   H   SO    AVG
Roberts   7     0   0   3    .000
Vazquez   7     0   1   1    .143

So Roberts was out-hit by two guys who really can't hit -- can we stop with all the Brian Roberts worship already (somewhere Jerry Hairston is pulling his, er, hair out)?

... How bad does Sammy Sosa look? Is there anything more embarrassing than Matt Clement challenging him with a 91-mph fastball right down the middle on a 2-0 count only to see Sosa swing about the same time that Varitek was throwing the ball back to the pitcher. Man, it's amazing how much Sosa's game has fallen off since he got off the juice. OK, I don't have any *knowledge* of Sosa being on steroids, but given that MLB only seems interested in suspending Latino players for violating the substance abuse policy, I figure it's only a matter of time.

Speaking of which, is anyone else at least curious as to why only Latino players -- who otherwise I never would've heard of (and one of them's a pitcher!) -- are the only guys getting suspended. Aren't there a whole bunch of players who used to weigh 250 and hit balls 500 feet who now weigh 195 and routinely ground into double plays (yes, I'm looking at you Giambi)? Were they grandfathered in or something? I'm just asking.

... One more thing. Thanks to living in the DC area, I'm stuck with having to watch the Baltimore telecast of Red Sox games even though I have MLB Extra Innings. Because of that little wrinkle, I've been treated to two glorious days of Jim Palmer. Palmer might be the dullest person on the planet this side of Ron Darling (anyone who's listened to a local Nationals telecast knows what I'm talking about). The thing is, Palmer was one of the most arrogant guys in the clubhouse during his playing days. I mean, he did underwear commercials for the love of God. And he did it while sporting a Sam Malone do. Now, he's just a guy who can't stop talking about boring stuff for three hours. And while it was mildly annoying to have to listen to him this week, I'll take a lifetime of Jim Palmers if it meant I'd never have to listen to Tim McCarver again.