Thursday, October 07, 2004

Your Bad

First things first. The Red Sox are up 2-0. If I'm anyone in the Angels organization, I post this picture in the Angels clubhouse with a caption below it that reads, "These are the guys that are kicking your ass." Who would have thought that a Texan and a Martian would be joined at the hip? This is another great example of life imitating art (here I'm referring to the instant 1981 classic, "The Fox and the Hound," as art), but I digress. Anyway, here are some random thoughts from last night:

...Why is there such a fascination with fireworks at sporting events? Before the game last night they set off what amounted to a 4th of July celebration a few minutes before the game. That's all well and good if people only wanted to see the fireworks. When the game started, it felt like 1979 all over again -- I might as well have been watching the game on a 9 inch black and white with the requisite rabbit ears because it was hard to tell what was going on. The only thing goofier than fireworks at baseball games right before the first pitch are fireworks at baseball games right before the first pitch in Minnesota (keep an eye out for that tomorrow).

...Here's something else that I've been wondering about. Who schedules programming at ESPN? I mean seriously, the Red Sox played Tuesday at 4pm, Wednesday at 10pm and play again tomorrow at 4pm. How is this convenient to fans who like watching the playoffs? My fears were assuaged however, because I can still catch crappy shows like "Around the Horn," "Dream Job," and the 400th showing of "Hu$tle" virtually anytime I turn on the TV.

...Given the previous statements, I must admit that I didn't make it past the second inning last night. So in the spirit of fairness, any comments made about stuff that happened after the 2nd inning are definitely made up and in all likelihood erroneous (basically like most of what I post).

...How does Johnny Damon have 20 HRs and 90+ RBI? I think he should win the MVP. Of course I'm kidding, but I did think it was funny when Rick Sutcliffe announced that Damon may have had a better year than Ichiro.

...It might make sense for Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, or any other weight-loss outfit to put Pedro Martinez and Bartolo Colon in a commercial. Here's an idea: They could use these two in separate photos with a caption that reads, "Before and After: how (insert name of weight-loss product here) changed my life."

...Is it bad that your best pitcher (Colon) is the same size as Jerome Bettis?

...I didn't see Millar's hit last night, but I was thinking earlier that he pulls more foul balls in the stands than any player I've seen in a long time. In fact, I remember back in the late 1980's when Ron Gant was coming up with the Braves, Skip Caray commented that if they moved the left field foul pole 50 feet to the left Gant would hit 90 home runs a season. Caray could've been talking about Millar too.

...Speaking of Millar, why is it that the more I bad-mouth him, the better he plays? Since the All-Star break he's gone on a tear, and he's even played better defensively. I guess the next logical step is to start sending him hate mail and just sit back and wait for the induction ceremony in Cooperstown.

...When was the last time you saw Pedro consistently throw in the mid-90's? Garret Anderson's first at-bat was reminiscent of the old Pedro (I know, Anderson was hurt, but I have to take it anyway I can get it).

...I like how Tony Gwynn was talking about how well Colon carries his weight. I think he said something to the effect of, "Colon gets to the park early, and when he's not pitching he'll shag fly balls and do some exercises and stuff." Boy, I've never heard such lukewarm support from one chubby guy to another. "Shagging fly balls and doing some exercises and stuff," is what you do at the company softball game once a year in between refills at the keg. What's more unbelievable is that Gwynn was a really good point guard at San Diego State.

...How do you get thrown out at second base when the bases are loaded? Mark Bellhorn is a nerd. That might be one of the hardest things to do in sports. Hitting for the cycle, rushing for 400 yds in one game, scoring 200 points in an NBA game -- all easier than getting thrown out at second with the bases loaded. The funniest part of that whole thing was when the camera showed Theo's reaction in the stands. It's the same reaction you see when you watch one of your buddies try to pick up a girl that's obviously way out of his league, and inevitably gets shot down. It's kind of the "what the hell are you doing" look mixed with the "man, you're a dope" look.

...As I reread this, I notice there's no real mention of what happened during the game (other than goofy stuff), and that's probably for the better. What's also for the better is that the Red Sox are up 2-0 and even if Bronson falters Friday, they can come back with Schilling. And perhaps more importantly, it was good to see the old Pedro, if only briefly.