Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Now This Is a Contest

Okey doke nerds, it's go time. Carnegie Mellon University, bastion of collegiate sports excellence, is looking for an official mascot.

I guess their (unofficial?) nickname -- The Tartans -- just wasn't cutting it. What? The idea of a plaid ... uh ... blob didn't instill the necessary fear? Get outta here. Whatever, here's the latest from the campus big whigs (I found the original link here, via Deadspin):
"Our campus community is going to be a vital part of identifying and confirming the official Carnegie Mellon mascot," said Dean of Student Affairs Jennifer Church. "Over the next several months, we'll be surveying our students and alumni, holding a town hall meeting and gathering feedback from a wide range of campus leaders. We're looking to involve everybody in this process."
Don't get me wrong, I'm for team spirit and all that, but do we really need a town hall meeting for this? There's more:
"With all-star athletes, Nobel Prize winners, Broadway stars and pioneers in technology all calling Carnegie Mellon home, our university has a powerful reputation that we're hoping to capture symbolically," said Bassett. "We hope to instill pride and spirit, while having fun with the various opportunities a mascot will create."
Okay, you had me up to "With all-star athletes." Nobel prize winners? Check (John Nash, Herb Simon). Broadway stars? Check (alright, I had to look that up, but I do know Ted Danson, Holly Hunter, René Auberjonois and Blair Underwood all went to CMU, and as far as I'm concerned that counts). Pioneers in technology? Check (Edward Feigenbaum, Red Whittaker). All-star athletes? I got nothing. And anybody suggesting Herb Sendek gets punched in the face.

Anyway, if you have any ideas, I'm sure the search committee would be very interested to hear from you. And to facilitate the process, I'll get things started:
  • Steelers
  • Panthers
  • Penguins
  • Pirates
  • Plaid Warriors
  • Enginerds
  • Sheeps
  • Goats
  • Herringbones
  • Nerdlingers
  • Milhouses
Okay, it seemed a lot funnier in my head.