Friday, April 01, 2005


I intentionally chose "Potpourri!" as the title of this post because it is one of those words that I really can't stand -- to speak or write -- but for some reason it seemed like a funny header. The discerning reader will also notice I spiced things up with an exclamation point, another grammatical device that I generally shy away from (right up there with :), ;), :-), ;o), and my all-time favorite, :p).

Still, I wanted to use "Potpourri" to convey that I had a bunch of different stuff to talk about and that's what I'll do. And to get things started, here's my list of words I hate, in no particular order (and when I say "hate" I mean I hate them for the way they sound coming out of my mouth, not because of their connotation):

Slacks. This is one of the worst words ever invented. After having been beat about the head with that word growing up, I now refer to all such clothing as pantaloons.

Pamphlet. No one has ever used this word and sounded good doing it.

Packet. Related to "pamphlet" but dopier.

Potpourri. See above.

I'm sure there are some other words that I really hate, but at the moment I can't think of them. Anyway ...

Hmmm. I'll let you guess which person I think is deserving of their award and which person I think is not.

The Raleigh News & Observer had an article in yesterday's paper titled, "Heels-Haters Hone Back-Handed Praise." There are two photos of students from local colleges (who are vehemently anti-UNC) that accompany the story. These two pictures along with the goofy quotes have all the look and feel of one of those Onion opinion polls. What's great is that not only are these students' thoughts in print, but so are their mugshots. Good thinking.

The understatement of the NCAA Tournament is this subtitle to a story on the UNC-Michigan St. matchup:

"Rebounding will be a key to Saturday night's Final Four matchup."

So the Byung Hyun Kim Experience is finally over. Wow, that went about as badly as one could imagine. The good news for Rockies fans is that there should be plenty of opportunities for getting a souvenir when Kim pitches. Seriously, the combination of Kim's 80-mph fastball and the 5,000 feet above sea level thing could lead to a record-breaking season. Honestly, given what a pain in the ass Kim was, it's worth the $6 million the Red Sox had to swallow to get rid of him.

Now if we could only do something about Millar.

Speaking of Millar, it'll be interesting to see how long it takes fans to start clamoring for Doug Mientkiewicz only to realize that he (and his baseball) are in New York. To be fair, I don't know any fans who currently think Millar is capable of doing the job at first base -- defensively or otherwise. But the good news is he'll be on Queer Eye and he's gained 20 pounds. So there.

Let me just say that I was shocked ... SHOCKED! when I found out that the medical advisor to MLB had fudged some facts on his resume. Here's one of my favorite parts:
Dr. Elliot J. Pellman characterized that and other errors as minor and blamed the discrepancies primarily on his secretary and the Jets.

"In a way, I thank you, because those discrepancies are not important enough to be there, and they have all been fixed," he told the newspaper.
Specifically, this Pellman character stated he received his medical degree from SUNY Stony Brook when in actuality he went to medical school in Guadalajara, Mexico. The "other" discrepancies mentioned above include the fact that he listed himself as an associate professor at the Albert Einstein School of Something or Another when he was only an assistant professor. How exactly that's the fault of his secretary or the New York Jets still isn't clear. On the upside, if you need an emergency appendectomy, he can hook you up for 10 bucks with no questions asked.

Finally, if you're dying to read about football, I have an article up over at Football Outsiders about the Steelers in particular and the AFC North in general.