Monday, April 18, 2005

Fun with Ron Mexico

Just in case you haven't gotten your fill of the Michael Vick/Ron Mexico story, you too can now create your very own porn star name to use as an alias the next time you go to get treatment for a sexually transmitted disease. One of the readers at Football Outsiders found the link, and it might be the best thing to happen to the internets since Skip Bayless started writing for Page 2. Here are a few of my favorites:

Kevin Millar = Karl Latvia

Mark Bellhorn = Jesse Tajikistan

Curt Schilling = Chad Micronesia

Plaxico Burress = Sam Monaco

Bill Cowher = Victor Liechtenstein

Rashad McCants = Derek Kazakhstan

The last one might be the best. I'd love it if McCants asked NBA commissioner David Stern to call him by his "Ron Mexico name" from here on out -- you know, kind of like Duke's Jason Williams changed his name to Jay (well, it's actually a little different since there was already another NBA Jayson Williams who was on trial for murder, but you get the point). I can't think of anything funnier than Stern standing at the lecturn in late June having to say, "And with the 8th pick the Portland Trailblazers select, um, uh, Derek ... Kazakhstan, forward, UNC."

Back on earth, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that Bellhorn was 3 for his last 10, with 2 RBI, 2 BB and only 3 K's (and yes, that's good). Hey, you got to take them where you can get them.