Thursday, July 22, 2004

This is getting hard to watch

Apparently I can't write posts quick enough to outpace the crappy play of the Red Sox. They've already been spanked twice (game 1 and game 2) by the Orioles in the span of 18 hours and are gearing up for spanking number three in a few minutes.

To add insult to injury, Major League Baseball has suspended David Ortiz five games for his temper tantrum over a ball and strike call last week. Here's my only question (for now):

Is there anyway to coerce Kevin Millar into getting suspended -- preferably for the rest of the season? If he doesn't go willingly, maybe someone can doctor that dopey "Born in the USA" video to show Millar in a love embrace with his long-time sugar daddy, Bud Selig. That way we can kill two birds with one stone.

The Boston Dirt Dogs had it right when they described Millar thusly:

Kevin Millar had only 45 seconds to circle under Chone Figgins' pop fly in the first game after the break and managed to approach the approximate area of touch-down in such a zig-zag fashion that the ball landed fair, the inning continued and the Sox and poor Derek Lowe (who suffers more than anyone as a result of these stone gloves) got shelled. Millar also got to show off his arm in that game with a five-hopper to the plate. If Millar played on my softball team, he would be the best hitter (right?) and our slowest outfielder with the weakest arm. On the plus side, Millar belted his sixth home run of the season tonight, pulling even with Coco Crisp, though he still trails Coco 34 RBIs to 26 despite having 51 more ABs on the season (300 to 249). Yes, Millar is averaging a home run every 50 at-bats. I will be closely monitoring the Kevin v. Coco power comparison down the stretch.
Amen to that.