Friday, July 16, 2004

President to declare everyday "Derek Jeter Day"

Ok, I've really had it with Derek Jeter. Didn't I just write a post about why Derek Jeter is an overrated, say-the-right-thing, do-gooder? What gives? No sooner than I finish writing down my thoughts than I have to read some cockamamie article about -- and you won't believe this -- Derek Jeter now having the highest all-time, All-Star batting average for players with more than 10 at-bats.

Woohooo! Long live Derek Jeter. Talk about ridiculuous reasons to write a story. This is at the very top of the list of utterly goofy things to write about (in fact, this nonstory is so stupid that a distant -- I mean very distant -- second on the list is the discussion about changing the rules so that an intentional walk is now worth two bases).

First things first, who cares that Jeter is now the all-time, All-Star batting average leader among players with 10 at-bats? The All-Star game is such a non-competitive spectacle (it ranks right ahead of WWE Raw) that I think it hardly matters who holds any of the records. But that little detail was lost during the writing of this AP story. Apparently someone, somewhere thinks this is news. Of course, Jeter being the consumate professional knew exactly just what to say:
"I don't know, it's not just good fortune," said Jeter, whose three hits all went to the opposite field against Roger Clemens, Randy Johnson and Carl Pavano. "I'm up there swinging early in the counts, especially when you're facing guys like Rocket and Randy Johnson."
Riveting. It's a good thing he was quoted, because I would have been hard-pressed to guess what he might say. To say Jeter's lucky is like saying that Derek Lowe is a little looney -- their both gross understatements.

Jeter's whole major league experience has been one continuous run of extremely good luck. I mean how else do you explain this dopey All-Star story even being reported? Of course the story gets worse. The AP actually had the cajones to report the following in the same All-Star story:
Earlier this month, the New York Yankees shortstop made one of the season's best fielding plays when he ran full-speed into the stands to catch a foul ball with two on and two out to protect a 5-4, 12-inning victory over the Boston Red Sox.
First of all, I'm not sure how catching a foul ball only inches into foul territory, and subsequently taking 3 and half strides at full speed (in fact, it looked to me like he actually sped up) before doing his best Jimmy "The Superfly" Snuka impression into the third row qualifies as "one of the season's best fielding plays." Here's an idea Mr. Jeter, the next time you catch a foul ball, stop running. It'll rob you of both the admiration and respect of Tim McCarver and true fans of "the game" but it will also prolong your perfect to date career.

As I mentioned in my first anti-Jeter post, most of what I write here about Jeter is tongue-in-cheek (everything I write about Lowe and Millar is not). But obviously some of this has struck a nerve or otherwise I wouldn't write about it. And the easiest way alleviate all this belly-aching is if the Red Sox can somehow manage to win the whole thing. But until that day (and after that day too) I'll still hope that the Yankees lose every game.